I never know what to write on here anymore. It's like I don't have much on my mind. Haha. Ting says we're wasting our break away by not doing anything and I slept in till 3 today. I would normally agree because I always feel a little rushed and I tend to panic when my breaks coming to an end, but I don't feel like that this year. I don't mind waking up super late and I certainly don't mind doing nothing. How many times can you do nothing at school without consequences? So I will take up all my time just lying around. For example, I stayed up all night last night till well into 7 am today watching this corny yet interesting fake documentary "movie" called the Rolling Movie. What it was about was basically a fake documentary on like 5 people all somehow connected through doing Ecstasy. There was this nasty looking girl who like kept on sucking on a lollipop. Another chick who looked like Pam was on the movie and a guy that resembles the fat kid from super bad. Anyways the nasty lollipop girl's drug dealer boyfriend ended up dying at a pool party. It was pretty sad. =(

I went to library today! Not that I got anything of interest. A few fashion magazines which will only make me more self critical of the female body. I use to read Vogue all the time. Looking through the pictures of the outfits every model sported. Each piece was so beautiful and unique that for a period I actually was convinced I wanted to become a fashion editor for some magazine or something like that. Now when I look at these pictures, the clothes don't nearly interest me as much as the models themselves. For some reason, I LOVE their figure. I don't even know why I like this certain type of body. The twig like figure ... to me it's beautiful. I know that guys don't like this at all, most guys prefer the slightly more normal body type. The average Jane with a little meat on to grab. But ... to me that's a load of crap. Who do u see in the tabloids, the magazines that they all drool over? Skinny Skinny women. I mean there is hardly anyone on there that is not like that. So obviously there's mixed signals there I think right? How can you say one thing but do another? Anyways it's not the media that draws me to this idea of beauty, but it's just me, what I like. That's just my own preferences of how I would like to look. I mean I a few thin friends who look just great in every single thing they put on. Me on the other hand, I pretty much hate everything I put on. I have a weird body type. Like clothes can't be tight on me otherwise I look too fat. But then clothes can't be hanging off either, cuz then again, I look huge. Either way, in the end I look good in nothing which is why I like wearing sweat pants and hoodies...the one lazy style I hated at one point. I talk like I'm an 300 pound old lady. Sometimes I feel like one.

So I just came back from the restaurant and my gosh, my mother just will not stop talking shit about my cousin who has nothing to do with her. I hate it when people bring up shit that has nothing to do with them and just keep bringing it up and yelling about it. People like that loves confrontation to get attention. Again, I think that's a load of crap. I don't know why it gets to me, but I guess I have sensitive ears that dont take too well to sound of illogical, closed minded, stubborn, self centered crap colliding with each other as they come spewing out your mouth.

Even though christmas was a while ago, I got to see my baby open up his presents!! It was so much fun, I hope he liked his shaver and his pj pants! PJ's the the most comfy pants ever on every level, both physically and mentally. hehe. I hope the shaver works well because now my boyfriend's cheeks will forever be smooth like a baby's butt!

I also just got one present but I dont mind at all because it was BEAUTIFUL! A ring! that doesn't fit on my ring finger. But you know what, at first that was like...whhaht not again. but it fits my middle finger which is great, because I like the idea of not having a ring on my ring finger. It's kind of like saving that one for something else. hahah like a virgin. LOL Madonna!!

But anyways the point of this gift that makes me feel so close to Sam is that it's a constant reminder of our growing love. =) Keep me always close to your heart and love me more everyday like I do with you!