It's finals week. I can't wait to get it over with. In a way I'm excited, but in another, I feel like I cheated myself out of one by failing History so now I dont have to worry about it anymore, but I still feel bad. Anyways, moving on with my life, because if anyone's a perfectionist..it's ME. So I have chem to study for and also math. Both of which I am confident I will do fairly well on if I keep studying until my mind can only think...exothermic, 1S2, O=H bonding, AXE2...and so on and so forth. I have ALOT of mixed feelings on going home. I am nervous because I hate hate hate the fact of being apart from Sam. I don't know why I get nervous but I feel like I could lose him and myself somehow. It's strange, but I know I also have a life beyond Sam Sam Sam... It's not much of a "good" life, but it's a deep and complicated one. Sometimes when I think about going home and I break it down into a list of things to do, I feel better. But when I look at the big picture, I feel nervous and antsy and fearful and sad all over again. There are many times I feel like I want to break loose from this life I'm living and run away into a world of careless thoughts. I feel like I think too much, over analyze and complicate things, till my hands are bound so tight, I think I can actually hear the bones cracking. Till I realize it's my heart breaking.