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Sunday, August 2, 2009
Okay, I'm not OCD or anything like that. But..I notice that...I read over and over again..every thing I write that has to do with my opinion (so not like tests or anything). If I write a note, I read it over and over before I give it away. If I write a letter, I do the same, even if I had a chat conversation with someone...And of course my blogs. My surveys on facebook, my anything that I share with others, I reread...I think in my head I have to make sure I wrote okay. Is it funny enough, is it interesting enough, will they like it? And when I reread it, it's like I hear myself saying those words back to me. I think that through my written words, I can best communicate with others and so I absolutely have to make sure it's 100% me. Because in real life, sometimes the things I want to express, I just screw up like a train wreck. Also, and this is very strange, but sometimes, I don't understand myself. I cant' put a name to the feelings I'm feeling. So when I write and read it over to myself, It's like my brain talking to me and telling me in something concrete that I can grasp. I think I'm much too complex inside my head. Like I have a so many thoughts and each clash with each other. So then I have to really focus and resort to this. I think in this area, I am a perfectionist to the max. And that is my habit.