i don't even know what i am suppose to feel. because if i strip down to it, i feel angry. everything seems so fast and it seems like everyone is just rushing me and i don't have any time. am i suppose to be passionate about something that just doesn't come to me easily. i wish i could be made to feel something. forced to bow down. because if i can't, then i'll watch the fire burn down around me and and over me. because i deserve it for not feeling anything, and because i am numb, i will feel the full wrath of god and no longer be numb, but torched on fire. i don't know, i guess i'm just too weak.